


So, Thats What It Looks Like

by NanixErka



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Heavy on the angst, Hurt/Minimal comfort, Iron dad and Spider son, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Spoilers, she's strangely hard to write, slightly ooc nebula i think, stark will go to his grave before he tells peter what he means to him don't @ me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 18:08:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14676570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanixErka/pseuds/NanixErka
Summary: Nebula and Tony Stark are alone on Titan. Tony is trying to process the loss. Nebula is trying to understand why the last one had to go the way he did.





	So, Thats What It Looks Like

**Author's Note:**

> Theres not enough fics with Nebula and Stark on Titan together or even interacting so uh, enjoy i guess
> 
> SERIOUSLY THOUGH DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED INFINITY WAR YOU DOOFS

Nebula had seen many children die in her lifetime.

Most of them quickly, some at her own hand- culled in the “experience” of being adopted by Thanos. Almost all of them left no impact on her, because she didn’t care. Because it didn’t matter. They died alone on the stone floor of the arena. Or alone on their planet after the slaughter of their families. 

But… this… felt different to her.

This child wasn’t _alone_

As she watched the spider boy desperately cling to the man they’d called “Stark”. He was crying, begging, pleading for his life to a man who could not help him, could not save him, but looked so, so much like he wanted to. Stark had caught the boy as he fell into him and held him close to his chest- as if holding him there would keep him from fading away. 

Why was the child taking so long? The others had faded so quickly. But it seemed as if his body was fighting back, as desperate as he was to stay in one piece 

Despite the pain she’d experience in her own life, she didn’t want to imagine how it felt to fade to dust in such a manner. 

Stark laid the boy down, desperately trying to be gentle as there was less and less to be gentle with. The boy was still pleading, still terrified, but Stark said nothing to comfort him. She could see it on his face that there was so much he wanted to say, but he just couldn’t find the words for. 

Suddenly, there was a moment of silence.. And then:

“I’m sorry” 

Sorry? What was the boy sorry for? He was not the reason he was dying. Stark was not hurt because of him. _What was he saying sorry for?_

As he faded to dust, the devastated look on Stark’s face gave her the answer. 

_I’m sorry i’m hurting you. I’m sorry you’re seeing me die. I’m sorry that it was me._

The anguish that encapsulated Stark. The way he stared blankly at the space that was once where the boy was. 

Was… that what it looked like when a father cared? His hold, his gaze, the way he almost aggressively told him that he was okay because he _had_ to be, _he had to be_

Nebula had never seen the death of a youth that affected her, left a bad taste in her mouth, or a knot in her robotic stomach. She thought she’d seen everything… 

But somehow, seeing the spider boy dying so slowly while being held by someone that cared, someone that didn’t want them to go, that wanted them around. 

It _hurt_

Her expression never changed as Stark slumped over, bringing his hands to his face in horrified contemplation at what he had just witnessed. All she could manage was one sentence in reaction

“... He did it” 

He didn’t respond - not that she expected him to. 

But they didn’t have time to mourn the losses surrounding them. She still had to find and kill Thanos, and what little conscience she had left wasn’t going to let her leave Stark behind. She took in a breath through her nose and approached him. 

“Quill’s ship is still here” She started “I can drop you on your home planet while I am on my way” 

She couldn’t tell if he heard her, but his hands left his face and he seemed to stare at them. That's when she noticed the dust… _his_ dust. 

“... I am sorry about your son” She said. That was sympathy, right? Well, at least he was finally looking at her - with something akin to bewilderment on his face- but was looking at her. Too bad he still seemed to be mute, so she continued “I will help you to the ship.” 

It was not a request. She bent down to pick him up and he started flailing slightly 

“Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa- what- that is not helping, that is carrying” He specified. His tone seemed different from before but she couldn’t put her finger on it. 

“Then I am carrying you. You are injured” She huffed in annoyance 

“I can walk” he emphasized, surprising her by getting up on his own power

“.. Fine. To the ship then.” She turned and headed in its direction. 

Though he limped behind he made it to the ship and she wasted no time in taking off

The silence was suffocating, though she couldn't think of anything to say as they hurled in Quill’s ship at the speed of light towards earth. 

“... I am dropping you on earth and leaving to find Thanos” she told him 

“Oh, and you think you can do that on your own when half-a dozen of us couldn't?” He responded, arms crossed and staring out the window 

“I will not stop until I'm dead” 

“.. If we regroup with whatever is left of my team you won't be doing it alone” 

“You are emotionally compromised by the death of your son-”

“He's not-” his voice rose, but he stopped himself, taking a breath “He’s not my son. He was.. My responsibility” 

“Is that not what a father is?” 

He seemed to want to argue with that, but just clenched his fists and took in a deep breath “We’re all compromised. Just think about it” He concluded. 

“That did not answer my question” 

“Peter was- is - not my kid.” 

“You’re avoiding the question” 

“That's my specialty” 

“Is it because you are not blood?” 

Tony didn't answer that “... How long until we're at earth” 

“The warp drive on this machine is impressive.” She explained “about 4 cycles” 

“That time frame means nothing to me, but I'll take it as a short time” he got up from his seat and traveled towards the back of the ship, leaving her alone. She rolled her eyes 

After getting the warp enabled and leaving it on autopilot she also head back, finding him staring blankly at the ceiling. The silence was not companionable, it was awful. She couldn't stand it again, so she reattempted conversation

“ Tell me about him.” Stark looked at her “The Peter boy” 

“.... He's an idiot. Wasn't even supposed to be here. Should’ve stayed on earth, gone on his field trip, stayed with his friends. Instead he stowed away on the damn ship” he grumbled 

“Then he would have died without you” she clarified “When Thanos snapped his fingers, he would have faded the same way he did, but in front of his friends with no idea what was happening. Maybe those friends would have faded first."

“.... He’d’ve tried to call me” 

She leaned back “The way you held him, looked at him… My father never even glanced at me in such a manner. That is why I mistook you for his father….. I figured that… that must have been what it looked like when a father cared” 

Tony looked at her, his expression unreadable. But then he spoke;

“.... He called me dad, once. He claimed it was an accident” he recalled the day vividly it seemed, staring at the floor while gripping at his pants tightly “He apologized , cause he's Peter- he's always trying so _fucking hard_ to be good, to be responsible and polite and…. he called me _dad_ ” his eyes seemed glassy, but he refused to cry “He deserves a better dad than whatever I am ” he took a tense breath 

“From the very brief moments I saw him… he seemed to think the world of you” 

“Well, that was his first mistake” he looked away. Seemed he was done talking. The silence seemed preferable now. She got up 

“... Well, I stand by what I said.” She left for the cockpit to check on their progress. 

She chose to ignore the stifled sob coming from behind her. She knew he wouldn't want her to point it out 

She didn't want to bother a mourning father anymore


End file.
